Ask MetaFilter. Therefore, some body awesome reacted and I also sent a message straight right back later on the day that is same.

Ask MetaFilter. Therefore, some body awesome reacted and I also sent a message straight right back later on the day that is same.

On OKCupid; We’m male. I do not send messages that are many perhaps 3-5 each week & i am wanting to be selective & make time to re-read a profile and write an “attractive” message. I do not get responses that are many i am aware that some ladies have plenty of unsolicited msgs. so they really might be acutely selective.

Just examined: yikes, just a little over an hour or so. Now it has been 2 days & as a result of OKC’s “last visited” snoop-a-matic, I’m sure she actually is been on.

So a) should I have actually waited longer? b) will she respond? (rhetorical: I’m certain i am being impatient) c) the length of time must I wait the next occasion?

I suppose we possibly could make use of the time and energy to write a draft reaction & allow it to sit for dispassionate review.

Present & related: simply closing interaction, callous as it can appear, in fact is the norm and perhaps in fact is a simpler let down than “on 2nd thought perhaps not interested” message. The 3 time rule still sort of exists, for a few people, anyhow.

We suppose I really could make use of the time for you to write a draft reaction

Data point: we frequently read communications appropriate away. I do not react until once I’ve thought about any of it just a little, and therefore little bit of procrastination means sometimes it could take a couple of times in my situation to obtain around to it. The timing of my reaction is not actually pertaining to the timing regarding the other individual’s (caveat: we make an effort to answer every message we have, and i’ve the impression that isn’t the norm). Never stress away a lot of about this.

If some body writes in my experience and it is interesting, i simply just take in regards to a time to react. I’ll consider the man or woman’s profile then think about a thoughtful response, particularly within the very first message. I am going to generally reduce steadily the right time taken between communications as time goes by.

If We compose some body first, I frequently simply take things in the responder’s pace. Me, I will wait at least a day to write to him if it took 2 days for the guy to respond to. I do not desire to overwhelm individuals.

I often feel overrun when individuals react prematurely.

So a) must I have actually waited longer? b) will she reply?

We get e-mail observe that i’ve brand new okc messages and certainly will sometimes make use of the mobile web web site to learn a brand new message. OKC implies that we’ve logged on, but we never compose reactions from my phone – that takes place from the when I can log into my home computer weekend. But i wish to check out the inbox just in case a date terminated, etc.

We don’t/wouldn’t read any such thing into response times. Do not write a reply to an email you have not seen yet. Otherwise, all you’re saying seems good. Anecdotally, I often have a very first reply that is contact of 20-30%, i do believe that is fairly normal.

That you don’t wish to consistently react to the exact same individual within one hour, since that may conjure a picture of a man desperately sitting around on OKCupid 24/7 prepared to instantly react to any person in the exact opposite intercourse who deigns to publish to him.

But I would personallyn’t concern yourself with this 1 message. Because, you know, it really is . just one single message. You were by the computer, so that you reacted quickly. It might be ridiculous to put on this against you.

If I experienced to help make a rule up, I would state: react 3-12 hours after getting a note. Subtext: you aren’t so insanely busy that you have got almost no time for attending your life that is personal you are additionally not that man who always responds straight away.

This is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid as a disclaimer. Perhaps maybe maybe Not being a lady, we clearly could possibly be incorrect about how precisely females perceive these exact things. Right women generally speaking do have more luxury than right guys to filter individuals out centered on trivial facets, therefore, one can’t assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating as you know.

(A) No. (B) Possibly. (C) if you feel just like it.

I must say I do not think that appropriate reaction time is tied up to gender a great deal because it’s linked with character. therefore framing this as “will women think this” or “men believe that” is deceptive.

Many people love to answer things straight away, the moment they see them. They’re not the sort to overthink and ponder messages that are perfect. They are sdc apt to be the nature to accept fulfilling up as quickly as possible, possibly even that same time. There is most most likely a adjustable of great interest that facets in too–if they like your profile, they will be almost certainly going to react quickly. Here is the form of dater i will be once I’m on OkCupid.

Some individuals can’t stand to look too eager and would like to take care to write a message that is thoughtful digs deeper directly into someone’s psyche. They are the individuals who’re expected to do have more contact that is extensive fulfilling some body and can plan things out far in advance. If somebody appeals in their mind, they might invest a lot more time preparing out their reaction.

Clearly, you can find kinds in the middle both of these ends regarding the range. So when individuals match inside their designs, interaction is simple and attempting to mindread each other is minimized. Whenever there’s a mismatch, there might be a complete large amount of confusion and angst on both ends.

In the event that you did this 4 times in a line, i may think it had been just a little eager. When? I simply figured you been online whenever the message is got by you.